Morton Valence- 'Falling Down The Stairs' (Bastard)
Clonking metaphor occurs at 0:10 in. Listener dies a little on the inside. 0:56- singer mmmms through a bit where she couldn't come up with a line, like a Flight of the Conchords parody. 1:42- a rhyme of 'story', 'ignore me' and 'glory'. Listener decides a 14-year-old boy with a rudimentary grasp of English could do better.
If Morton Valence do want to be taken seriously, then an opening lyric of “I'm falling down the staircase of love” will not do it. It makes you sound like a 16-year-old over-earnest girl who thinks she's being poetic. It won't do. The music behind is sparse, and with different lyrics would spark up. As is, it's a failure.
'Veronica's Blades' massively improves things by dispensing of the vocals. A pulverising disco beat and synth lines make it a stylish beauty, and shows that were Morton Valence learnt how to write lyrics they could become something grand. 2.5/5